


Of Archenemies and Midnight Swims

by Cactaceae28



Category: Forever (TV)
Genre: Complete, Crack, Episode: s01e11 Skinny Dipper, Exasperated Adam, Gen, Humor, Mostly Gen, Snippy Henry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 05:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4816286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactaceae28/pseuds/Cactaceae28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, Adam kills himself in the cab and makes it so Henry will die right after. In hindsight, not the best plan ever. Tag to 'Skinny Dipper'; no matter what Henry thinks, it's not slash (really).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Archenemies and Midnight Swims

"That was an interesting way of showing your face. Quite dramatic; I'm not sure about the final delivery though." Henry commented casually, bobbing up and down the East River, but he didn't made any attempt of swimming towards the shore yet. A few feet away, Adam glowered at him. It was significantly less threatening that it could be, considering how hard he was fighting to stay afloat himself.

"You were not supposed to die that fast. That was pathetic." He snapped. Henry hummed noncommittally.

"You shouldn't have locked me in the cab then."

There were a few minutes of silence, surprisingly, not as awkward as one would expect from two completely naked grown men in close proximity that technically had just been part of a kidnapping and suicide/murder.

Adam swore under his breath. "This water is freezing."

"It's not that bad. I assure you, hypothermia won't be a problem," Henry answered, and this time he couldn't quite stop the sarcasm from showing on his voice.

"Brat."

"Barmy codger."

Up on the shore, the group of teenagers that had been binge drinking in the closest secluded place to their reawakening finally started moving back towards the city. The two immortals waited until they were out of sight and began moving towards firm land. In a few strokes, Henry had a definite lead, to Adam's further frustration. Maybe it was petty, but the M.E. felt incredibly smug about besting his stalker on something. Adam made a derogatory comment that Henry couldn't hear. He guessed it had something to do with his prowess at this particular activity, and he had never dealt well with silence, anyway.

"I died for the first time in the middle of the ocean; it was a textbook case of sink or swim. An unpleasant but efficient way to learn, as it turns out."

"How many times did you sink?"

"... A few."

"That must have been annoying. That reminds me of the time I died in Sahara and kept coming back to the same ruddy oasis. Seven hundred years later and I still can't look at dates the same way."

"My condolences. At least I drowned long before I could starve. All in all, it wasn't that bad of a trade-off."

Adam mulled that one over. "Yes, I suppose so. Starvation still doesn't make it in my top twenty most painful deaths, though."

By this point, they both were able to stand though the water still reached their necks, and both came to the mutual and unwelcome realization that coming out of the water would mean seeing things no self-respecting arch-nemeses should see of each other.

Adam glared some more, clearly not above blaming Henry for his bad timing, which was just rude. Henry might have considered drowning again to get out of the situation at hand, but eventually decided that since the psychopath had gotten them into this mess in the first place, he could also figure out how to get them out of it.

"Well?" Adam snapped as the silence stretched on.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you coming out?"

"Aren't you?"

That effectively killed the conversation and Henry decided to not mention the last few minutes to Abe. He really should get started on finding a payphone and calling his son, and it wasn't like Adam had any concealed blade to stab him in the back, but at this point, it was just as much a matter of pride as anything else.

"How'd you even know I was going to hail a cab?"

"Is that really the most pressing concern you have right now?"

"My last kidnapper went for the bike. It would be nice if I could establish the pattern early on." Henry deadpanned.

"Ah, yes," Adam crinkled his nose, "the sadomasochist. It's a good thing he preferred to be the submissive, because his technique was bloody awful."

"He didn't have a clue on electrocuting someone correctly, I'll give you that, but his strangulation skills were good enough."

"He had good equipment; it in no way made up for his atrocious execution. It took a great deal of self-control to remain hidden in front of his pitiful excuse for torture."

"You were peeping?" Henry spluttered.

"I had nothing better to do. Please, do try not to make me sound like a voyeur."

"You _are_ a voyeur!"

"I'm a _stalker_. There's a difference. My feelings for you are completely platonic."

"I hope you realize that I'm most definitely not coming out of the water now."

Adam, who had waddled until the water reached his waist, groaned.

"How do you even do that?" Henry pressed on, "To be present in every life-threatening situation I face? You'd have to follow me around practically every hour."

"Hardly. I do have my sources, and any case that has the NYPD running in circles is bound to have you at its center doing something interesting."

Henry hummed, "Not all. There's that writer consulting with the 12th district that attracts weirdness even more than I do."

"And I would care if he could wake up from a sword impaled through the chest," Adam countered firmly. "In any case, getting information on you was not that difficult. It's astounding how much better one becomes in covert operations when one can simply disappear before being caught."

"By _killing_ yourself."

Adam looked at him reproachfully and carefully enunciated each word, "I don't _stay_ dead. Ever."

"It doesn't matter. Immortal psychopath or not, there is no way that is mentally healthy."

"I am not a psychopath, thank you very much. You could make an argument for sociopathy, if you must be so droll, but I would have expected someone with your past experiences to be more sympathetic to our plight."

" _I_ don't go around throwing cars with people in them over bridges."

"You make me sound like a comic book super-villain, Henry."

"They are called graphic novels, Adam." Henry replied, sounding very full of himself. Adam's lip twitched downwards.

"In my time, the talented artists didn't pander to such nonsense," He grumbled.

"It is curious how quickly it has spread, but is actually older than most think. Rodolphe Töpffer is normally credited with the invention of the occidental graphic novel, around 1827 I believe, though he mainly used it as a medium to entertain his students before his eldest daughter donated his works to the city of Geneva."

"Do I look like I want a history lesson?" Adam said, though what he meant was, 'do you think _you_ can give _me_ history lessons?'

"On the subject of what we look like," Henry recovered, "do you think we can hurry this along? Abe hates it when I'm late for dinner, and I'm dreadfully late by now."

"Go on, don't let me keep you."

Henry made a face, very pointedly not looking at Adam's state of undress.

"By Jupiter, I've seen more naked people than you can count! This wasn't such a big issue ten minutes ago!"

"Ten minutes ago I didn't know you peep on me when I'm in compromising situations."

Adam looked like he very much wanted to go back and throttle him. Unnoticed by the bickering pair, two policemen had noticed them and where moving towards their position.

"For the last time, I wasn't _peeping_ on you! I was assessing the danger to our secret, that's all."

"Sure," Henry said doubtfully.

"If I had known you were going to be such a child about it, I would have waited another couple of centuries until you grew up."

"Excellent idea, why don't we do that?"

Adam looked a step away from doing something he wasn't going to regret later, when someone interrupted their negotiations, or whatever they conversation had degenerated into.

"Is there a problem here?"

Both turned around to see the officers standing uncomfortably. The one further away from the water nodded at them.

"Hello, Dr. Morgan."

"Good evening, officer Mumford."

"Are either of you wearing any pants?"

"I'm afraid we aren't."

"Ah."

"But before you arrest us, I would be obliged if you kept this gentleman away from me. I find his recreational habits to be rather perturbing."

The next morning, Lieutenant Reece arrived at her office early only to be confronted by her M.E., who was sporting an impressive black eye, and a man in a towering rage with an ugly taser burn on his neck. She wisely decided that she did not want to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, my first Forever fic and my first fic on the Archive! It's really silly, but hey, they did both die within minutes of each other, so who says they didn't reawaken on the same spot as well? Unfortunately, with Henry having seen Adam's face earlier than canon, the rest of the episode would be invariably AU.


End file.
